Is the Work ever Done?

A most common misconception of a yogi is that we are always, at peace, joyful, calm, cool and collected. Mmmeeeeeep! Wrong! We are all human, going through the same experiences, trying to get by one day at a time. The more we work through the practice the more layers are unveiled and the more work we discover we have to do.  But is it really about doing more work? Or is it about connecting deeper with yourself that the hidden fragments of yourself begin to reveal themselves. We begin to discover that maybe everything isn’t always warm and fuzzy.

I had an experience the other night that revealed the not so calm and collected side of me. I came home after teaching an evening class to discover my sink had been overflowing due to a clog in the city line, it was overflowing and beginning to go into the living room. I panicked, not really knowing what to do. I picked up the phone and called the emergency line. I know the maintenance guy well and he is the nicest guy ever. After he told me that they would call the plumber but didn’t know how long it would be for them to come, I lost my cool, I raised my voice and probably said some things that were unnecessary to get my point across. I lost sense of the fact that it was 11 in the evening, he had been sleeping and who knows how soon a plumber could get there. It was all about me. I became selfish and was only concerned with my own needs. Luckily the water had stopped so at this point all I could do was wait. I soaked up as much of the water as I could with every towel that I own and I decided to lay down.

As I laid in bed I started to reflect on my reaction and my behavior. I did not stop and breathe, I instantly reacted when I should have tried to calm myself before even picking up the phone. So then I started to beat myself up for my behavior and how I spoke to the maintenance guy. “You’re better than that, you know not to react so quickly, what is wrong with you? ” I fell asleep feeling pretty crappy about myself.

The next morning I woke up and decided to forgive myself. I realized that I have grown so much in the past few years and had the same thing happened several years ago my behavior would have been my reaction last night tenfold. I am doing the best I can and sometimes we are given tests to show us where we are and that we still have more to be revealed to us. But the biggest reminder is that I am perfectly imperfect just the way I am. We make mistakes, we forgive and we move on and grow from them.

Today’s pose is about surrendering to what is, bowing to yourself, forgiving yourself and honoring yourself just the way you are.

Janu Sirsasana, Head to Knee Forward Fold.

Beginning in Dandasasana  or Staff pose remove flesh from underneath sits bones, bend right knee and bring into the inner left thigh. Square torso over the extended leg, by tipping the pelvis forward begin to bring torso over the extended leg, draw the right shoulder to the left and down, keep the heart lifted, straight spine, keep the extended leg foot flexed pressing the back of the thigh into the mat, reach arms forward and then allow the body to melt and surrender to sensations. Hold for for several breathes. Repeat on the other side.